


Trouble at the Castle

by TheExParrot



Category: Original Work
Genre: F/F, Fairy Tale Style
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-15
Updated: 2016-03-15
Packaged: 2018-05-22 01:32:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6065683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheExParrot/pseuds/TheExParrot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's a princess, a cobbler, a dragon, and a knight, in that order. Things aren't quite what they seem, in more ways than one, but it'll all work out. </p><p>Eventually.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Trouble at the Castle

**Author's Note:**

> So this is a story that I originally wrote several years ago. The main characters were straight, and it was just in general a lot sillier. One day I got the bug to rewrite it, and here we are. Hope it's not horrible. It's not beta-read so apologies for any mistakes.

Once, quite some time ago in a rather small kingdom, there was a cobbler.

Now this in itself was not unusual as cobblers were a common occurrence and were a rather important part of any decent-sized town where people were expected to wear shoes. And the town in our story was rather large indeed - city-sized even. Lots of people needing shoes in a city.

No, our cobbler was not unusual simply because the person was a cobbler, but rather because this person was a woman. As you may have guessed, women working were not exactly a common thing, except perhaps as a housekeeper or servant. But no, this woman was not a servant, she was a cobbler, and a skilled one at that.

So skilled, in fact, that this woman had been hired by the royal family as their primary cobbler.

Now, this was not because this was a particularly progressive monarchy (it wasn’t) but rather because Wilhelmina - our cobbler - was known most commonly among her customers as Wil. The king, when he heard of her, heard her simply referred to as Wil, and by the time he realized his mistake, the contract had already been signed and her first fee paid.

As you might imagine, the king was rather upset when he realized his mistake, but he did not want to be made a fool of before his court, so he did not break the contract. Instead he relegated her to being the personal cobbler of his only child, Princess Bianca.

Princess Bianca was rather of the opinion that she did not need a personal cobbler, but she decided she saw the sense in the decision once she actually met Wil.

The woman was uncommonly tall and strong, features only accentuated by her breeches and sturdy boots. Her long dark hair was secured in a tidy knot at the base of her neck and the leather vest she wore over her blouse only highlighted her full figure. Her skin was smooth and dark and Bianca had caught herself reaching out to see if it was as soft as it looked many a time.

Yes, Bianca was very interested in spending time with her new cobbler.

Wil was similarly interested in becoming better acquainted with the princess. Bianca was known throughout the kingdom for her flawless pale complexion, hair like spun gold and elegant figure, but Wil was rather of the opinion that the rumors did her a great disservice by failing to mention her sparkling wit and mischievous sense of humor.

With both so interested in the other, it was no surprise that weekly meetings at the castle quickly became the norm and Bianca soon had more shoes than outfits to pair them with. Not that she stopped having meetings with Wil, of course.

This pattern of meetings and poorly concealed pining went on for some time and may have continued indefinitely if not for one afternoon where Wil’s distraction in the presence of the princess came to a head.

Wil was crossing the room to join Bianca on the sofa in order to let her feel the softness of the newest fabric sample. Wil, being rather distracted by her soulful staring contest with the princess, did not see the low footstool in her way and tripped rather spectacularly right into the princess’s lap.

Both froze at their new position, in shock at the sudden contact. Slowly, Wil lifted her head from Bianca’s lap to meet her eyes. They locked eyes for a long moment, both hardly daring to breath. Almost at the same moment, they leaned toward each other and finally, _finally_ their lips met.

That was the day they decided to increase their meetings to twice a week, though the number of shoes Bianca ordered decreased significantly.

Quickly, the two fell into a new routine. They met twice a week at the castle, sometimes to discuss new shoes, most of the time not, and occasionally Bianca made the trip out to Wil’s shop “to try on shoes”. Wil’s business boomed once word spread of how much the princess liked her work, and both were blissfully happy.

Then the dragon came.

Now dragons were not uncommon in the kingdom, but they were normally dispatched rather quickly by one of the numerous knights and questers adventuring about the land.

Not so with this dragon. This dragon was unusually clever and cunning, and managed to evade or defeat every challenger that came its way. Many knights and adventurers rode out to challenge the dragon, only to never be heard from again.

As more and more people were killed by the dragon, the king grew desperate. The dragon was wreaking havoc and had to be dispatched at all costs. Clearly greater incentive was needed to attract the more talented of dragonslayers.

So the king sent out a decree that any knight who defeated the dragon would have the honor of Princess Bianca’s hand in marriage. Surely, this would give the knights of the land the motivation to kill that blasted dragon.

Princess Bianca was, quite understandably, furious when she heard of her father’s decision. She was quite happy with her cobbler, thank you, and she would be damned if any knight would get in the way of that. With this thought in mind, she hurried off to town to speak with Wil.

After the two had exchanged extended, vigorous greetings and were redressed and seated across from each other on the bed, Bianca told Wil of her father’s decree.

Wil frowned. “Is there any way to talk him out of this?”

Sadly, Bianca shook her head. “No. Messengers were sent out early this morning to spread the word. Father only told me of his decision once all the messengers had left the city. He knew I’d try and talk him out of it.” She smiled wryly. “Probably would have succeeded, too.”

Wil chuckled fondly. “Yes, you probably would have.” She sighed. “Well, I suppose we knew something like this was bound to happen. Your father has not been subtle with his hints lately. I mean, everyone knows balls are held in the summer, not the fall.”

Bianca pouted. “I know, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it! With my luck, the first person who challenges the dragon will defeat it and then what will I do?”

Wil tucked an errant strand of hair behind Bianca’s ear. “Bee, don’t worry so much. Surely it won’t be that bad? I mean, we did know we’d have to separate eventually…”

Bianca pulled away with a glare. “I knew no such thing! Father’s been talking for years about naming cousin Arthur as his successor, which works just fine for me. He just came up with this idea because he wants the dragon gone! I’m just a convenient prize to offer!” She sniffled. “He doesn’t even care that I want no part of this foolishness and have absolutely no desire to be married to anyone other than you!”

Wil laughed. “I sincerely doubt any knowledge of our relationship would deter him. It would probably spur him on, really.”

Seeing Bianca’s frown only deepen, she sighed once more. “Bee, I’m sure your father only wants what he believes is best for you. I mean, you can’t blame him for trying to secure a future for his daughter who, to his knowledge, has no suitors, and nowhere to go once Arthur formally takes the throne. His intentions, though misguided, are good.”

Bianca slumped forward to lean her forehead on Wil’s shoulder.

“I know, but that doesn’t make it any easier to deal with.” She pulled back to peer up at Wil. “Especially if that means being forced to separate from you. Who knows where this potential champion will take me once we’ve been married?”

Wil smiled softly and cupped Bianca’s cheek in her hand. “You say that as if I wouldn’t follow you to the ends of the world, husband or no.” She placed a chaste kiss on Bianca’s lips, and pulled away from Bianca’s attempts to deepen it. “But, since the idea seems to upset you so, I might have an idea.”

Bianca immediately perked up. “An idea? Do you have secret dragonslaying skills you never told me about?”

Wil laughed. “Not quite. But my cousin does. He’s a rather famous dragonslayer in our kingdom, and I know that he would not mind his cousin tagging along with him and his new wife.”

Bianca frowned. “Are you sure? Wouldn’t he want to consummate the marriage and produce an heir? And why am I only just now learning of this famous cousin?”

“Well I simply never thought to mention him before now. To answer your first question, he has no need of an heir as there is nothing of significance to pass on. He has no title or land to leave to a son, and I know for a fact that he is as interested in women as I am in men. So really, it’s the perfect arrangement.”

Bianca thought for a moment. “Well, if you’re sure. How will you get in contact with him, though? This seems a rather delicate matter to discuss via a message.”

Wil sighed. “I know. So I’ve decided that I’m going to travel to see him and discuss these matters in person. If I am to get to him in good time, I will have to leave tonight.”

“Tonight?! But that’s so soon! Are you sure you cannot wait at least until the morning?”

Wil sadly shook her head. “No. The journey will take at least a week as it is, and any moment delayed in another moment where someone else could defeat the dragon and win your hand. No, I really must leave as soon as I am able.”

Bianca sighed, and slid forward to pull Wil into a tight hug, which she returned. “Well, I suppose. But you must be careful. If you were to be killed, I don’t know what I would do.”

Wil gave her a squeeze. “I promise it won’t come to that, Bee.” She pulled back and stood. “Now, I must be getting packed, and you are likely due back the castle soon. Go, and I’ll be back before you know it.”

Reluctantly, Bianca also stood, and made her way to the door, Wil following behind. As she stood before the door, ready to turn the knob, she turned back to Wil with a scowl.

“Swear you will be alright!” she said with a fierce look up at Wil. “Swear you will return safe and sound and you will be alright!”

Wil pulled her into an embrace, kissing her delicately on the brow, the tip of her nose, and finally her lips. “Yes, Bianca, I swear I will be alright.” She pulled back and gave Bianca a gentle push to the door. “Now go. The sooner you leave, the sooner I leave and the sooner I’m back.”

With one last sigh and and a lingering kiss for luck, Bianca headed back to the castle. She was worried about Wil, but she knew her lover well enough to know when her mind had been made up. There was nothing for it now except to sit back, wait, and hope for the best.

She was regretting this decision a week and a half later when a messenger arrived at the castle with news that Wil had gone missing, and it was suspected that she had been killed by the dragon on her way back to the kingdom.

Bianca was distraught and immediately locked herself in her room to grieve. She remained locked in there for a week, barely touching the food and drink that was left on trays outside her door.

And then Wilhelm arrived.

Bianca knew exactly when he arrived because the noise of the crowd was so loud the noise carried all the way up to her bedroom window, which was on the third level.

Confused at what could be causing such a commotion (could it be someone who had triumphed over the dragon? Would she be forced to hide her grief so soon?), Bianca untangled herself from her bedclothes and went to the window.

What she saw made her breath catch with dread.

Riding into the courtyard was a knight with the shiniest armor Bianca had ever seen. Even from such a distance, the glint of the sun off his helmet was blinding. Shading her eyes, Bianca took in his regal posture astride his huge warhorse. She could make out a sword hanging at his side, and the horse’s armor was nearly as shiny as the knight’s.

It seemed the first knight to challenge the dragon in hopes of winning her hand had arrived.

Abruptly, Bianca drew herself upright and whirled away from the window to her wardrobe. She would be dressed and respectable looking when this knight presented himself before her father. She would not be idle with her future on the line.

Though it would not be the one she had been hoping for, she reflected sadly as she tugged on her dress and swept her hair back into a tight braid, that did not mean that she would let it be decided as she wallowed in her room.

So decided, she quickly finished dressing and rushed down to the throne room to meet her first suitor.

Upon reaching the throne room, she paused outside the door a moment to compose herself and catch her breath. Squaring her shoulders, head held high, she opened the doors and strode into the room.

The knight was already speaking to her father who was seated on his throne and listening intently to what the knight - who knelt on the floor a respectable distance away - was saying. Looking up at the sound of the door and spotting Bianca headed for him, his face broke into a wide smile.

“Bianca! I see you seem to have recovered from your bout of illness! Come, and meet your first potential husband!” He gestured for Bianca to join him up on the platform.

The knight snorted. “Will respect, your majesty, if things go well, I will also be the last.”

Bianca’s breath caught at the sound of his voice. He sounded like Wil! She whirled to face him, and found herself face-to-face with a man who could only be the cousin Wil had spoken of, so alike were their faces. She would wager god money that under his helmet his hair was also a curly dark mass, though likely not nearly as long.

“Are you Wil’s cousin?” she asked, breathless.

Gravely, the knight nodded. “Yes, m’lady. She was on her way back from her visit with me when she went missing. I had some things to finish up, or I would have traveled with her.” He scowled. “I should have done so anyway and taken care of the dragon on the way!”

She sighed, shoulders relaxing slightly at the realization that she would not have to be the one to break the tragic news. “So you have heard what happened, then.”

The knight’s frown deepened. “Yes, m’lady. I was, in fact, the one who discovered her remains and it was my squire who delivered the news to you.” He gave her a sympathetic look. “Wil had told me how close the two of you were, so I wanted to be sure that news got to you as soon as possible. I wanted to come myself but I needed to make funeral arrangements-”

Bianca waved his off his apology. “I understand. Thank you for making sure she was laid properly to rest.”

The king broke in. “Bianca, how do you already know Sir Wilhelm? He told me it was his first time in the kingdom!” He peered suspiciously between the two.

“Your name is Wilhelm? Is it a tradition or something?” Bianca asked the knight curiously, ignoring the question.

Amused, the knight nodded. “Yes, Wilhelm is the name given to the first born children in our family. Wilhelmina was the first girl born into our family in five generations, and my uncle has always been a staunch supporter of tradition.”

Now the king was confused, and rather irritated at being ignored. “Wilhelmina? Who is that? Bianca, how can you know this man but not know his name!”

Sighing, Bianca turned to her father. “Wilhelmina is the cobbler we have employed for the last several years, with whom I was very close friends. Sir Wilhelm, here, is her cousin that she was traveling to speak with when she was attacked and killed.”

The king frowned. “I have no memory of this person. Are you sure she was in our official employ? Why would I employ a female cobbler when there are plenty of male ones throughout the city?”

Bianca rolled her eyes. “Yes, Father, I’m sure that she was officially contracted as our cobbler. Though she only worked for me, and that is most likely why you do not recall her - I do not believe the two of you ever met in person.”

The king sat back in his throne, appeased for now, but still wary. He waited a moment, then looked abruptly back at the knight. “So when do you ride out to meet the dragon?”

The knight straightened and his expression became more solemn as he met the king’s gaze. “I ride out as soon as I finish speaking with you, Your Majesty. I do not wish for the beast to live any longer than it has to.”

The king nodded with satisfaction and gestured for Wilhelm to stand. “Then go, Sir Wilhelm, and avenge your fallen cousin. We will eagerly await your return.”

The knight stood and with a bow to the king and a respectful nod to Bianca, strode from the room.

Silence, and then, “So, he was handsome. And rather taken with you as well, if I’m not mistaken.”

Bianca, recalling Wil’s words on her cousin’s attraction to women, snorted. “We’ll see. First, he has to defeat the dragon.” With that, she turned on her heel and swept from the room.

A week passed. Wilhelm did not return.

Another. Still no word.

At the end of the third week, the king issued a formal declaration that the knight was dead, and a brief ceremony was held.

Meanwhile, Bianca was petrified. With the official declaration of Wilhelm’s death, another challenger would likely be soon forthcoming. At least with Wilhelm she could be reasonably sure he would not force her to do something she didn’t want, but she just couldn’t be sure with anyone else.

She prayed that news of Wilhelm’s death would scare off potential challengers.

Miraculously, it seemed news of the famous knight’s demise had, in fact, deterred any challengers.

For a while, anyway.

Nearly a week to the day of the announcement of Wilhelm’s untimely death, the next challenger arrived. This one, Bianca met with her father in the throne room. She was determined to not be caught unawares as she had been with Wilhelm, and was working hard to not let her grief keep her from performing her official duties.

So it was that Bianca was standing at her father’s side as this knight strode confidently into the room. This knight’s armor was shiny, though not nearly as shiny as Wilhelm’s had been. His posture was not quite as nice either. His manners, however, seemed nice enough as he knelt before the king.

“Greetings, Your Majesty,” he began with a bow of his head, “Princess Bianca,” he favored her with a lecherous smile and a head bow, which she stiffly returned. “I come to win the hand of the fair princess and slay the dragon. My name is Sir Paul.”

“Well met, Sir Paul,” replied the king, “Have you experience in dragonslaying?”

Sir Paul smiled and flicked another quick glance at Bianca. She frowned.

“Yes, Your Majesty. I have slain many dragons where others have failed, and I have come to do the same here.” Another pause and glance at Bianca. “I was hesitant because of the tales of the dragon’s ferocity, but having met the fair princess, I can say that the opportunity to be in possession of such a delectable creature would be well-worth the danger.”

The king smiled, and Bianca’s frown deepened. The conversation continued as Bianca’s thoughts turned inward.

I will not be marrying this man, she thought fiercely. He could be the greatest dragonslayer this land has ever seen and I would not let him within five feet of me. Something must be done.

“Father,” interrupted Bianca, cutting off Sir Paul in the middle of his sentence. “I’m afraid I am feeling rather unwell and must retire to my bedchamber for the evening. I apologize.” She turned to Sir Paul with a stiff smile. “Thank you, Sir Paul, for taking up this challenge in the face of such adversity. Best of luck to you.”

“Well, Princess, when the prize is as luscious as you-”

Bianca did not stay to hear the rest of the sentence, instead walking briskly for the door.

Once she was safely within the hallway, door shut securely behind her, she turned for the armory. Her father had determined that she would be the prize of the one who slayed the dragon? Well, she would be interested in his opinion on the matter when she slayed the dragon herself!

(And if, she privately reflected, she met the same fate as others before her, at least she would never have to marry someone who wasn’t her dear Wilhemina.)

-

This, Bianca reflected tiredly, had been a _terrible_ idea.

It had been five days since she had set out from the castle, safely ensconced in some pilfered armor, astride one of the warhorses from the stables (her own mare would not have so easily borne the weight of the armor - and curses, was it heavy) and her sword at her hip.

Briefly, she thanked her younger self for insisting upon lessons in swordsmanship and demanding to have a blade of her own. She didn’t know what she would do if she had to contend with both the blasted armor _and_ a sword she didn’t know how to use.

As it was, she would likely be coming upon the dragon soon and she had no idea how she was to fight the thing, trapped as she was within the armor. It had seemed a good idea at the time - you certainly didn’t hear of people defeating dragons _without_ armor - but by the end of the first day Bianca had realized her mistake.

The armor, being made for someone more heavily muscled and flat-chested, was nearly impossible for her to maneuver in after hours of being upon a horse, and she had pretty much had to fling herself out of the saddle the first time she had stopped to rest. From there, the problems had simply compounded.

Landing on the hard ground with the armor on was a horrible experience - to say the least - and she discovered soon thereafter that she had bent one of the plates around her arm upon impact and could no longer remove the piece in question, or any of the pieces around it. Thankfully, she was able to remove the larger chest and back pieces, as well as those covering her legs, but the armor on her arms and across her shoulders fit together in such a way that removing one piece meant removing it all.

So she had been been wearing the same shirt and vest for five days now. Her shoulders were stiff and heavy, and she was pretty sure that even if she were to somehow free herself from the thrice-damned armor, she would be unable to move her arms. Thankfully, the horse she had borrowed was well-trained enough that he responded to only slight tugs upon the reins, but that was about the only upside of bringing him.

She hadn’t realized it in the stable, but he was too tall for her mount from the ground (especially not with the limited mobility of her shoulders and arms) so she had to make sure she camped somewhere that also had something she could use as a stool the next morning. Twice now, she had had to simply lead him along until she found something suitable for her to use.

And all of that was not even mentioning the bugs.

Yes, Bianca reflected wearily, this entire mess had been a terrible idea, but it was rather late to turn back.

As if to confirm this thought, there was a mighty roar from up ahead.

Startled, Bianca stiffened in the saddle, inadvertently pulling her horse to stop. The horse was unbothered by the noise, simply flicking his ears and stopping with a snort.

With a deep breath, Bianca squared her shoulders and urged her horse forward, determined to get this over with. No matter how things turned out, she still wouldn't have to marry Sir Paul and really, that was the most important thing.

Although surely she could have finagled  things so that he got eaten by the dragon. Really, she would have been doing the world a favor….

Abruptly Bianca was brought from her thoughts as her horse suddenly stopped. She blinked and looked around.

They seemed to have arrived in a clearing of some sort at the base of a small mountain. The ground was hard-packed dirt with blackened rocks scattered throughout. Before her there was a rather impressive - looking cave, complete with a few bones scattered about and some ivy dangling down just over the entrance.

Clearly, she had arrived at the lair of the dragon.

After a moment of consideration, Bianca decided to dismount and send the horse away. No sense in the both of them dying. Even if he was too tall.

Stiffly, Bianca dismounted, congratulating herself for deciding to forego the lower half of the armor that day. At least without the armor she had a _chance_ of dodging; she could barely walk in the stuff, let alone run.

She leaned on the horse a moment to shake out her sore legs, but she did not retrieve anything from her packs. She had not stashed someone in there to slay the dragon for her, so there was nothing she needed.

Turning the horse so it was facing back the way they came, she gave it a sharp slap on the rump to send it on its way. The horse did not move except to turn and give her a baleful look.

She gave him another slap, harder this time. He flicked his ears.

Nonplussed, Bianca thought for a moment before smacking her armor-covered arms together, hoping to startle him with sound. Nothing.

Frustrated now, she began jumping up and down, smacking her arms together. When this elicited no response other than a snort, she also began to yell.

This went on for a good couple minutes, her yells and arm-smacking gaining energy the longer she continued with no response. Finally she came to a stop, panting heavily for breath and glaring at the stupid horse, which was now grazing.

It was at this point that a hand landed on her shoulder, scaring entire years off her life, she was sure. She screamed and twisted away, looking wildly at the person who had crept up on her, only to come a complete stop as they locked eyes.

After a stunned silence, she finally choked out, “Wilhelm?!”

The apparently not-dead knight smiled and gave a little wave, “Hi, Princess Bianca.”

She gaped a bit more before finally recovering enough to begin shouting. “What the fuck! Everyone thinks you’re dead!”

Sheepishly, Wilhelm scratched his head. “Yeah, that was my bad. Got caught up in negotiations and forgot to send word.” He cocked an eyebrow at her. “Didn’t think they’d send the princess herself though. Aren’t you a bit too valuable to be challenging dragons?”

She waved that off, “I couldn’t stand the thought of being someone’s prize. But that’s not important; what do you mean, negotiations? Did you get pulled into a land dispute? Are you only just now arriving to challenge the dragon?”

He shook his head. “No, well, sort of. You see, I did get pulled into a land dispute, but not how you think. Although, before I go into that, I should probably tell you-”

But he was cut off by the ground beginning to shake, throwing them both off balance and stumbling into each other’s arms. Bianca was confused and alarmed; they didn’t get earthquakes in this part of the kingdom, so that could only mean one thing.

“Lady Knight!” came a booming voice.

Trembling, Bianca turned, still in Wilhelm’s embrace.

There, in all its terrifying glory, stood the dragon.

It had apparently just emerged from the cave, and was rapidly approaching, the ground trembling with every step. Gleaming claws scored the earth as it walked, the gouges left at least as long as Bianca was tall. Its great tail was as long as some bridges had crossed, with fearsome spikes at least a foot long running down its length. The dragon itself stood as tall as some of the nearby trees, and Bianca had to actually shade her eyes to look up at it as it drew closer.

Why is it talking to me? I just got here! I haven’t even challenged it! she thought, mildly hysterical at the sight of the terrible monster before her.

“Lady Knight,” said the dragon once more. “As agreed, I am taking my leave. I will be heading for the caves you described to me. I expect my hoard to arrive no later than three weeks after myself.” He (for the dragon was unmistakably male) narrowed his great yellow eyes. “And I will know if even a single coin is missing from it.”

Bianca stared, completely at a loss. Had the dragon gone completely mad?

Wilhelm laughed, “Oh I’m sure, Malcolm. I’ll be handling the transport myself and I know better than to steal from a dragon. Your treasure will be safe with me.”

The dragon (apparently named Malcolm; Bianca had officially lost track of what was going on) snorted. “I’m sure. Well, I’ll be taking my leave.” He paused. “Although I must congratulate you on your treasure; she is quite lovely, despite the rather foolish look on her face.”

Bianca’s mouth snapped shut from where it was hanging, her cheeks flushing. She stepped away from Wilhelm. “Oh no, we’re not…”

The dragon eyed them skeptically for a moment. “If you say so. Good day, Wilhelmina.”

And with that, the dragon leapt into the air wings coming open with a snap and a gust of air that knocked both humans to the ground.

Stunned, Bianca sat on the burnt ground, trying to process what had just happened.

Finally, she turned to Wilhelm (Wilhelmina? what?), to find the knight watching her warily. “What just happened? Why did the dragon call you that? Where is he going? Why is he leaving? How do you know his name? Wh-”

Wilhelm held up his hands, silencing her. “My family is in the business of relocating dragons. The things are nearly impossible to kill, so we usually don’t even try, instead choosing to relocate them somewhere with less people and plenty of wildlife for them to eat. Malcolm was referring to a cave I told him about in my home kingdom that is properly isolated. I agreed to move his hoard there if he agreed to leave this cave. As for the second thing…”

Bianca waited, but he did not continue. “What?” she prompted him. “Did he just get confused? I’m sure human names must be a bit strange to him…”

The knight heaved a great sigh, head hanging. “No, no that wasn’t it. It’s that thing I was going to tell you before he interrupted us. You see, I’m not actually Wilhelm.”

Bianca stayed silent, not even daring to breath as not-Wilhelm reached up to remove his helmet.

A mass of familiar, curly black hair was tied back in a messy knot was the first thing revealed. And then the knight looked up.

Silence stretched like a chasm between them.

“Wil,” Bianca finally croaked, eyes watering.

“Hey, Bee,” said the cobbler weakly with a little two-fingered wave.

Bianca was silent for a few more moments as she processed this latest revelation.

“Do you even have a famous dragonslayer cousin?” she asked finally.

Wil nodded. “I do. Though as I said, he’s more of a dragon re-locater. I really did go to see if he would come and take care of this dragon for us too, but he refused. Apparently he’s gotten married and started a family since the last time I saw him.”

A few more moments of silence, then, “Bee-”

“No!” yelled Bianca, slashing her hand through the air. “I’m asking the questions here! I just found out my lover faked her death, I think I’m allowed a few questions, don’t you?”

Sadly, Wil nodded and gestured for Bianca to speak. “Ask away.”

“Why didn’t you come back?” Bianca finally asked, voice tight. “Did you get tired of me? Because you could’ve just told me-”

“No!” Wil leaned forward, hands reaching for Bianca, but stopped as the princess shrunk back from her grasp. “No, Bee, that wasn’t it at all. I very much intended on coming back. Things happened and then they just kept snowballing and…” She gestured helplessly. “Here we are.”

“So then what happened? Because it was definitely your horse and pack that was returned to the city.”

Wil laughed. “So that’s actually a funny story. So I was on my way back to the city, right, and I’m just riding my horse, minding my business, when _something_ falls on me out a tree. I freaked out, thought it a snake and began to panic, screaming and twisting and waving my arms around, trying to get it off me.”

Bianca laughed, “You really need to get over that fear.”

“It’s entirely justified! Those things are dangerous, alright? Anyway, it wasn’t a snake, just a piece of rope that someone had apparently left up in the tree, but of course I didn’t discover this until I had been thrown from my horse off the road and woke back up after losing consciousness. By that time, I was already presumed dead, but of course I didn’t know that. I caught a ride with a passing merchant on his cart back to my cousin, who was rather surprised to see me.”

Wil sighed. “When I heard the news I wanted to head to the city right away and reassure you that I wasn’t dead, but Wilhelm wouldn’t let me leave. He said that this was a perfect opportunity.” She shrugged, “So really all of this was his plan. I wouldn’t have gone along with it, but I could see the wisdom. I mean, this way the king thinks I’m a man who slayed the dragon and we can get married.”

Bianca snorted. “Assuming I want to marry you after all this nonsense.”

Wil pouted. “Bee, I was going to tell you! There was just no way to do it at the castle and then we were interrupted by the dragon-!”

Bianca smiled. “I know, I’m kidding. Come here, you goon.”

She opened her arms and Wil scrambled forward into them, burying her face in Bianca’s hair and taking a deep breath. They held tight to each other for a long moment, reveling in the contact.

And if there were some tears and sniffling, well, there was a lot of pollen and dust getting blown around. A dragon had just launched himself into the air, after all.

Once they had calmed down a bit and their grip on each other wasn’t quite so urgent, they slowly pulled away from each other to take a moment and clean up a bit.

Eyes dried and composure (somewhat) returned, Bianca looked back at Wil, only to find the other woman already looking at her, a small smile on her face.

Bianca couldn’t help but smile back, and then nothing would do but to lean in for a quick kiss.

One kiss soon turned to two, and then three, and then Bianca found herself seriously contemplating the idea of getting physically reacquainted with Wil right there and then.

Recognizing that things were getting out of hand, Bianca reluctantly pulled away, laughing breathlessly as Wil tried to follow.

“Wil, I love you but if we keep this up I’m going to be getting dirt in places dirt was never supposed to be. I mean, I missed you and I’m happy that you’re not actually dead, but not _that_ happy.”

Wil laughed, leaning forward to for one more quick kiss before letting her forehead rest on Bianca’s. “So, does this mean I’m forgiven?”

Bianca laughed. “Not even close. You’ll be sleeping on the floor for at least a month. Maybe two.”

Wil pouted theatrically. “What?! You can’t do that! I just saved this kingdom from a great and terrible dragon! I certainly deserve better treatment than that!”

Bianca smirked. “I’m not an unreasonable woman. Prove to me the sincerity of your remorse and I will shorten your sentence.”

Wil cocked a saucy brow. “Oh? And how would I go about doing that?”

Bianca leaned forward to whisper in her ear, smirked widening. She was going to enjoy making Wil earn her forgiveness.

It took them another hour to get on the road back to the castle. Unfortunately, Bianca did end up with dirt in some unfortunate places, but she had enjoyed Wil wrestling her out of her armor, so she considered it an even trade.

-

After that, things just sort of fell into place.

It only took a few days for them to arrive back at the castle, much to the surprise of the king, who figured his daughter was dead. He was happy to see that he was wrong, and ordered that Bianca and Wil were to be married in two days.

While Bianca was a bit miffed that her father was so eager to give her away, he was also pleased, as this left less time for Wil to be discovered.

Not that Bianca was able to see her during the two days, busy as she was with wedding preparations. (Though not so busy that she didn’t hear about Sir Paul being eaten by a griffin. She couldn’t quite bring herself to feel bad about his fate.)

And then the day of the wedding arrived.

Bianca was petrified. What if Wil changed her mind? What if her father did? What if her father found out?

Miraculously though, things went off without a hitch and by midday Wil and Bianca were married. Even more surprising was that they were able to extract themselves from the resulting festivities and set off for the home of Wil’s cousin, where they would purchase a tract of land and hopefully settle into wedded bliss.

This too went suspiciously smoothly and it wasn’t long at all before the two were well on their way to what Bianca began to suspect would be Happily-Ever-After.

It wasn’t literally, of course. At some point Bianca’s father did discover the deception, and there were quite a few issues brought on by impersonating someone who was both alive and rather well-known in the region for tangling with giant murder-lizards. But Bianca certainly wouldn’t have had it any other way.

(Wil would have. She much preferred cobbling to dragon-wrangling. Being happily married to the love of her life was pretty awesome though.)

 


End file.
